Title: Pesadillas – Joe no es un monstruo, a.k.a. “Goosebumps – Joe Is Not A Monster”

Author: R.L. Stine

Illustrator: Sergio Algozzino

Tagline: Or so some say…

Initial Thoughts

We’re dipping into another international mystery within the Goosebumps fandom. It took me a while, but I finally got my hands on all three of these magazines. AND THERE BETTER NOT BE A FOURTH, GOD DAMN IT!

In the early 2000s, there were these three Spanish language magazines printed for kids with the title Pesadillas. Pesadillas was one of the international names for Goosebumps. These magazines were printed with horror comics and stories, including two R.L. Stine tales in each of them alongside illustrations.

I stumbled upon this knowledge one day while doing a search in Google images, and was able to determine their existence and if they were worth hunting after. One guy posted a YouTube video examining a copy.

Unlike “Something Fishy” being printed in Je Bouquine with artwork, the stories in Pesadillas all appear to be unique publications. Well, most of them. We in the fandom were able to figure out that at least, “Joe Is Not A Monster,” was also published in Beware! This was a collection of R.L. Stine’s favorite horror tales by authors such as Ray Bradbury, including stories from EC Comics and folk tales.

As such, I’ve started the Pesadillas recaps with “Joe Is Not A Monster” since I have a translation on hand.

My plan moving forward with this is to recap the R.L. Stine stories first, because I consider them to be Goosebumps stories. Since, well, they technically ARE if Goosebumps were published as Pesadillas in Spain. After that, I’ll see about recapping the other stories. For now, let’s see if any of these are new stories or refurbished versions of old Goosebumps tales.

Recap

[Wing: That illustration is so cute! I love it.]

Now LISTEN, everyone. You’ve all heard the rumors and the stories. Watched the news. Received the texts. Got the calls. Opened the emails. Attended the chat room. All that shit.

We’re gonna clear this up once and for all because Joe is NOT, he is NOT, a monster. How could you even think such a thing of Joe. Joe wouldn’t hurt a fly, and here you call him a monster?!

It’d really help if we knew how these fucking rumors got started so we could put a stop to them. It was probably a kid at Joe’s school. Kids suck.

Before you knew it, everyone was calling Joe a monster. Lots of kids are scared of Joe, while the “braver” ones go up to Joe and make fun of him. They call him monster and run away, like that’s SO courageous to pick on poor Joe.

It didn’t stop there. These kids went as far as to deface Joe’s LOCKER, that sacred refuge for his books and things, with the word “MONSTER” on it. And some kids thought it was fucking cute to leave a wind-up monster toy in Joe’s backpack. It broke after winding it up ONCE. [Wing: Pranks use such cheap materials these days.]

Now Joe’s got no friends. He has to sit alone at lunch. Playing by himself at recess. No one picks Joe when they play ball. No one works on projects with him. He has to hang in the back during school dances cuz no one will dance with him.

They won’t even TALK to Joe in the hallway.

And just the other day, some big kid punched Joe in the chest and told the “monster” to get out of school!

Poor Joe.

Poor, poor Joe.

HE HAS FEELINGS, YOU SHITHEADS!

MAYBE IF YOU ALL GOT TO KNOW JOE YOU’D KNOW WHAT A KIND, SENSITIVE, SMART, FUNNY, STAND-UP GUY JOE IS!

In fact, Joe is SO considerate he tried not to have this story told. He didn’t want anyone to speak up for him, but one person, one brave, upstanding, American hero tried to say the things no one else would.

And this person won’t slink into the shadows or hide their face behind pixels on TV. He’s not afraid to speak the truth. This guy’s the only person qualified to speak about all of Joe’s great qualities.

He knows [INSERT TITLE HERE].

After all, if you can’t trust a guy’s second head who can you trust?

[Wing: THESE ILLUSTRATIONS. I AM SO CHARMED.]

Final Thoughts

This is some X-Men level persecution bullshit, and considering Stine’s written for Marvel I can easily see Joe as an Xavier Institute kid.

This story works on the same level as “Something Strange About Marci” from More & More Tales To Give You Goosebumps since they both build up to the last line. However, it also means the surprise is gone for good when you try to re-read it.

So this was our first Pesadillars recap under the Goosebumps banner. I’ll be working on the other five stories with a friend who’s translating the stories for me.

[Wing: Me encanto esta Pesadillas. This is such a cute story with adorable illustrations. I can’t believe how charmed I am by a Stine story, and I look forward to the rest of the Pesadillas.]