{"id":8291,"date":"2020-10-31T13:00:31","date_gmt":"2020-10-31T13:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pointhorror.com\/?p=8291"},"modified":"2020-10-30T00:00:29","modified_gmt":"2020-10-30T00:00:29","slug":"dog-soldiers-2002","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pointhorror.com\/dog-soldiers-2002\/","title":{"rendered":"Recap #282: Dog Soldiers (2002)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dog<\/a>Title:<\/b> Dog Soldiers (2002)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Summary: <\/b>Sergeant Harry Wells leads a team of British soldiers on a routine expedition to the Scottish Highlands. The six men would rather be at home watching a game, but they are even more dismayed when a carcass lands on their campfire. The next morning, they happen upon a severely injured Captain Richard Ryan and the bloody remains of his squadron.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or the shorter version: A team of British soldiers encounter a vicious monster in this modern werewolf gem. [bat: Ooo! Snark at the Moon is going international this year!<\/strong><\/span>]
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Okay, I love that second one. Love it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Initial Thoughts<\/b><\/h1>\n

Shudder tells me that this is from the director who did The Descent, which is one of my favourite movies. I know I watched this one first, mostly because The Descent didn\u2019t come out until 2005, but I never knew they were by the same director. Unlike a lot of the other recappers, I am not a font of knowledge about directors and actors and authors, etc., so I\u2019m always surprised when something ties to something else I love.<\/span><\/p>\n

Werewolves<\/span><\/i>. It\u2019s going to be a good time tonight.<\/span><\/p>\n

Which I desperately need, and you probably do, too. 2020 has been a hell of a year. At least October has both the Harvest Moon and a blue moon on Halloween.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And, you know, horror movies and werewolves. All of the werewolves.<\/span><\/p>\n

Happy Harvest Moon and happy year four of Snark at the Moon<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

[bat: Hi, all! Yeah, I know, you didn’t get my half of Snark at the Moon last year. Grieving the death of your grandmother will put a dent in recapping things. I promise, though, I will have my installment up for 2020! Beyond that, I have only ever heard of Dog Soldiers because of Wing. I’ve never seen it. Is that remotely shocking, because what I haven’t seen<\/em> is a long list. Never seen The Descent, either. Well, let’s get this blue moon Halloween party started with some snarking!<\/strong><\/span>]<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Recap<\/b><\/h1>\n

We open in Scotland, a nice relaxing camping trip between a super cute little couple. They\u2019re celebrating some work thing, and she gives him a solid silver letter opener shaped like a sword because no knight should be without his sword. I find them super cute.<\/span><\/p>\n

So of course they are not long for this world. [bat: That’s what happens when you get all idyllic and cute in a horror movie.<\/strong><\/span>] This has one of my favourite transition scenes; they\u2019re making out and he starts to unzip her trousers, but the sound of the zipper is much, much louder than it should be —\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

— because something is unzipping the tent from the outside. Creepy as fucking hell, that. [bat: Whoa, one of the best transitions ever!<\/strong><\/span>]
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There\u2019s panting and low snarling and, of course, werewolf. WEREWOLF. The werewolf drags her out first, tears her apart, splattering him with blood, and while his hand creeps toward the silver knife thing, we hear (but have not yet seen) the werewolf come back for him. [bat: This is very Greg and Shelley<\/a> to me, which is awesome, because that’s how you set a horror movie without giving away the “monster”.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: Oooh, yeah, that’s a good comparison.<\/strong><\/span>] Cut to howling at the full moon and then title screen.
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Two hours earlier, in North Wales (and for once I don\u2019t mind this storytelling choice. I generally hate when you start in the middle of some sort of action and then get dragged back in time to see what really happened, but I like it here), we have a man running through the wilderness and being hunted by people with dogs and guns. (So, soldiers then.)<\/span><\/p>\n

He manages to take out one of them in fisticuffs and then another with a flashlight he stole from the first one, but then he gets captured. He\u2019s evaded them for 22 hours and 47 minutes, which is pretty damn good and means Private Cooper is apparently the best in his class. [bat: Wait, hold up, that’s Kevin McKidd, aka Tommy Mackenzie from Trainspotting!<\/span><\/strong>]
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The leader\/instructor dude [bat: ZOMG! It’s the Onion Knight himself, Liam Cunningham! This film just got way better instantly!<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: Note from the future, I now know who the fuck the Onion Knight is, thanks to more fandom osmosis!<\/strong><\/span>] tells him that survival isn\u2019t really about running and hiding, though, which is what Cooper has been doing. It\u2019s about finding a way to make sure your enemy can\u2019t hunt you down. Gee, I wonder if that will become important at any time during this werewolf movie. Surely not. [bat: Nope. Never. Not one ounce of pointless foreshadowing for fun and profit here!<\/strong><\/span>]
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Super cute doggy, and then instructor dude tells Cooper to shoot the dog. What the ever loving fuck, instructor dude. [bat: WAIT NO SHOOTING DOGGOS I DIDN’T SIGN ON FOR DOGGOS BEING SHOT!<\/strong><\/span>] I hope a werewolf eats your balls first and then tears off your face. Both while you\u2019re still alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper refuses to do it even though this is all a test to see if he\u2019ll make the instructor\u2019s team and becomes my favourite. And then instructor shoots the dog in the fucking head and I hate him forever. SOMEONE EAT HIS DICK AND BALLS AND THEN HIS FACE IMMEDIATELY PLEASE AND THANK YOU. [bat: BAD FORM, SER DAVOS, BAD FORM!<\/strong><\/span>]
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#needsmorewerewolves<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper gets beat up some by instructor dude (who I\u2019ve just realised is probably Captain Ryan) who then orders him back to his actual squad.<\/span><\/p>\n

We then jump 4 weeks ahead and to the Highlands of Scotland (I\u2019m 100% using their location names because I find them delightfully dramatic). (Also, closed captioning says \u201cintense music\u201d during this transition, which is also wonderful.)<\/span><\/p>\n

There is snow in the highlands! I don\u2019t think I knew Scotland got snow. Beautiful scenery, but <\/span>snow<\/span><\/i>. Ugh. So much hate. [bat: Yes, it snows in the Scottish Highlands, so that places the time frame for this story between November to April. In reality, they ended up filming entirely in Luxembourg, and the snow affected shooting and caused delays. Go figure.<\/span><\/strong>]
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Anyway, helicopter ride into the highlands, and the army is there to secure everything. I\u2019m going to guess this is more training, mostly because they have bright yellow things on the ends of their guns, which seems counterintuitive to actual maneuvers. There\u2019s also a lot of jerky camera work. It wasn\u2019t enough to trigger my vertigo, but it wasn\u2019t fun, either. I can\u2019t remember how much this movie has. I hope not much.<\/span><\/p>\n

The sound work around the guns is great (and I love the sound of the guns being moved around, the clicks and clacks), but for some reason Sergeant Wells\u2019 voice is crackly. I didn\u2019t have this problem earlier. (While I own this movie, I\u2019m watching it on Shudder on my laptop for ease of moving back a few seconds to catch something I\u2019ve missed.) [Wing: Note from the future, it cleared up pretty fast. Might have been a blip in my connection.<\/strong><\/span>]<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, we have Cooper again! Thank you for not killing the doggo, Cooper. I hope you survive this damn movie. (I honestly don\u2019t remember if anyone survives, much less who it would be. There are a couple scenes I remember clearly, and one thing in particular that I figured out real damn quick the first time I watched it, but not the actual survival rate.)<\/span><\/p>\n

We get a bunch of names thrown at us, but I\u2019m not going to grab them all right now, except Witherspoon (Spoon) who forgot his watch and apparently does this kind of stuff at the same time. Sarge gives Spoon his own watch instead, already setting himself up as the better leader than, you know, THE DOGGO KILLER. [bat: I was trying to remember where I’d seen Sean Pertwee before but they were all bit parts. The answer most people will know is his portrayal of Alfred Pennyworth on Gotham.<\/span><\/strong>]
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They talk about the football game they\u2019re missing [bat: FULL-ON FOOTIE WAR!<\/strong><\/span>], and then they\u2019re reminded they\u2019re up against special forces during this training and so they really need to get their shit together.<\/span><\/p>\n

The setup: they are 50k behind enemy lines and they are to escape. If they make contact, they fight everyone as hard as they can.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper puts together a decent plan to get through, and we see that he carries a lucky rabbit\u2019s foot around. Sarge gives him a pep talk about not being chosen for special forces; for one thing, this team would be a lot worse off without him. And they do all come across as a solid, if awkward, team, giving each other shit but also having each other\u2019s backs.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure that will all go to pieces soon (<\/span>werewolves<\/span><\/i>), but I like it here, and I\u2019ll like it when it falls apart.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not even going to count all the fucking misogyny, though. It\u2019s there, almost all the insults are comparing them to girls, now we\u2019ve gotten that bullshit out of the way.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lots of dramatic hiking through trees and fields and past wooly cows(?) with long horns. [bat: Literally Highland cattle. Yeah, it’s a breed.<\/strong><\/span>] During a rest, Cooper tells them that there\u2019s stories about the area, that people disappear, and talks about the young couple who set up camp somewhere near where they are now, disappeared one night. Awww, cute couple, you\u2019ve become an urban legend already.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mountain rescue team found the tent ripped to shreds and blood everywhere. News said it was some sort of monster like the Beast of Bodmin Moor<\/a>. <\/span>\u00a0Which apparently is a real legend about a big panther-like cat. Where\u2019s the horror movie about that? I want to watch it immediately!<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, apparently there is at least one independent film about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

https:\/\/youtu.be\/bB0OsBpWkIw<\/p>\n

Other locals blamed an escaped lunatic, because of course we needed some crazy = dangerous bullshit.<\/span><\/p>\n

(Oh, and a Chrome update followed by a computer restart fixed whatever had gone wrong with the audio.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, look, Doggo Killer has spotted them. He tells his guys that the flock is heading for the fold, because why not drama it up around here. [bat: Well, it is a SAS training simulation…<\/strong><\/span>]
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The good guys chill around the fire that night talking about what scares them. Spoon\u2019s is castration, the only one that seems like it might come into play. Though Cooper is afraid of spiders, women, and spider women. I love you, Cooper.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sarge is terrified of never seeing his wife again, which means he\u2019s going to fucking die. Ugh, I like Sarge. I mean, yes, I get it, horror movie, people are supposed to die, but I like him. He tells a heartbreaking and gross story about one of the guys deployed to Kuwait with him got blown to pieces. Saaaaarge. Stop. You\u2019ve already put a target on yourself. Stoooooooop.<\/span><\/p>\n

The point of all of this is that it taught Sarge to keep an open mind. So, Sarge, are you going to be the first one to believe in werewolves? Because that will make you just all the more delightful.<\/span><\/p>\n

They drink to Eddie (the dead guy from his story) and then things go to awkward jokes, which is interrupted by a jump scare of a dead cow thrown into the middle of their camp. Some of them shoot at it, even though they only have blanks. [bat: Effective, Terry, real effective. Terry is the one who spooks easily. Pointless foreshadowing, yadda yadda.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: Note from the future: I find it impossible to tell most of the guys apart, so this will not help me at all as pointless foreshadowing.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Cooper examines it and finds that it wasn\u2019t shot, there are teeth marks instead of bullet holes. Sarge refuses to let them break radio silence and fail their training. Instead he sets sentries and says they\u2019ll reassess in the morning.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course we go to a beautiful (almost) full moon (the very edge is not quite lit up yet), and again to a delightfully creepy scene with night vision binoculars, a beating heart, and a little bit of grayed werewolf vision point of you.<\/span><\/p>\n

The werewolf POV running through the forest (with deep panting) was less shaky than them climbing out of the helicopter, which sure is a choice. A choice I approve of here, but that just means the helicopter one was ridiculously shaky.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then off screen dude with the binoculars is attacked and blood splatters. Honestly, most of these white dudes all look alike to me, but that was maybe Doggo Killer? Or maybe just one of the guys on his team? Doggo Killer shows up later, so either it wasn\u2019t him or this is a real unsubtle way of telling us he\u2019s a werewolf now. [bat: It was Doggo Killer who was attacked. So I would put money on him surviving and being turned.<\/strong><\/span>]
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The next morning, Sarge\u2019s group checks out where the dead cow might have come from, and it\u2019s slightly possible it was wounded, stumbled off the edge of the hill, and landed in their camp. Sort of possible. I\u2019d still say impossible, but what do I know.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sarge is really curious about this whole dead cow thing, and that makes me like him even more. (Though it also makes him all the more likely to die a terrible werewolf death.)<\/span><\/p>\n

He finds fur on broken tree branches and keeps leading the men on the hunt. What exactly does he think he\u2019s going to do if he finds whatever is killing animals? They have no real weapons! Well, maybe knives, but they have no bullets! They are shooting blanks! Why doesn\u2019t he, at least, have real ammo? What if something went wrong? [bat: Also, totally deviating from the objective of the training session.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: To be fair, the whole carcass being thrown into the middle of their camp was a pretty big surprise and not one that makes a lot of sense in a training session, so things have already gone weird.<\/strong><\/span>]
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(Okay, okay, I know, no one is going to prep for werewolves, but surely there are other predators in the area. Right? Though maybe not big enough to hurt a grown human. Actually, a quick search shows they may have reintroduced wolves into Scotland but otherwise, no, there really aren\u2019t any predators large enough to be a threat to humans. I can\u2019t decide if that makes horror stories set there more or less creepy.)<\/span><\/p>\n

They find bloody pieces of some dead thing, which is enough for Sarge to decide it wasn\u2019t natural causes. (And we learn he does have a knife.)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then they see a flare go off in the distance, and they make their way over through some really beautiful rocky formations and tall trees. They find a destroyed camp absolutely dripping with blood and gore and also stocked with some real weapons. [bat: How do you NOT know you’re standing in entrails?!<\/strong><\/span>]
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They ditch their fake weapons, arm up, and get ready to go after actual live enemy combatants.<\/span><\/p>\n

So if Little Red Riding Hood should show up with a bazooka and a bad attitude, I expect you to tin the bitch.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

SARGE!<\/span><\/p>\n

I love how spot on he is here, ridiculously, and also now I want Little Red Riding Hood with a goddamn bazooka. [bat: Have you ever watched Hoodwinked<\/a><\/span>, Wing? LRRH doesn’t have a bazooka, but I feel like you’d still enjoy it.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: I have! And I loved it. I’ll have to recap it some time.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Apparently no one in the camp got off a single round, but if they lost, where are the bodies? Before they can call it in, up pops Doggo Killer who has bloody claw marks down his front and a wound on his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

So. Werewolf. He\u2019ll be turning into a werewolf soon. [bat: Not surprised!<\/strong><\/span>]
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They can\u2019t get anyone on their radio and when they find the special forces radio, it\u2019s fried. Doggo Killer babbles about how they need to get out of there, there was only supposed to be one. Everyone seems to ignore that bit of important information, though, because WHAT THE FUCK.<\/span><\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t the special forces team Sarge\u2019s group was going up against, though. This one is unmarked and carrying all sorts of strange things, including nets and tranquilizer dots.<\/span><\/p>\n

Y\u2019all, I forgot they were trying to capture the goddamn werewolf! This may put a new spin on the things I do remember. I\u2019m so glad I\u2019m recapping this movie. [bat: When he said, a couple of scenes ago, the flock was headed back to the fold, I kind of wondered if that was a red herring. Knowing there’s virtually thousands of sheep in Scotland, it was probably meant literally, since that’s what a wolf would hunt. How intriguing.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: Right? They are definitely the sheep luring the werewolf, and I love, love, love it. (It also makes me think that line in Cabin in the Woods might have been inspired by this, possibly subconsciously.)<\/strong><\/span>]
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FINALLY someone actually pays attention to Doggo Killer talking about how there was only supposed to be one, and he then says there are many, they tore his men to pieces right in front of him, etc. They think he\u2019s raving because he\u2019s going to die of hypothermia and blood loss if they don\u2019t help him soon. [bat: Yes, transform<\/del> “die”.<\/strong><\/span>]
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About half an hour before dark they settle in, trying to fix the broken radio, setting watch, and they find a transmitter inside one of the radios, possibly their own, not something that was actually a part of the radio, and the guys decide the challenge was fixed so they couldn\u2019t possibly win. (This is why I think their radio might have been fried, too, or maybe theirs is fried and the other one destroyed. I\u2019m not clear on that, but I\u2019m enjoying myself too much to double check. Maybe bat will have caught it.)<\/span><\/p>\n

[bat: Oh dear, I have theories. Clearly, Doggo Killer set off the flare; he’s the “only” survivor. Setting off a flare implies he doesn’t have a working radio OR (my guess) the SAS team was sent in without communications due to the nature of the mission. I also wonder if he set off the flare not just to find help but signal… things in the woods. Makes sense, he’s almost bait-like, being the sole survivor. Having watched the scene twice, Bruce goes for his own communications gear and gives codes that are for his team to broadcast for an emergency, not SAS codes. Whatever “bug” they find in their own gear tells me they’re being setup… Sarge told them they weren’t allowed to break radio silence over the dead steer, so clearly the chip or bug or whatever was designed to disable the radio as soon as it was used, which is why Bruce is all mad when they question him why the gear failed. I guess we’ll find out as the movie progresses. Oh, and as Cooper points out, the SAS are only wearing dog tags, no other forms of identification, so that lends credibility to my “no communications gear” theory. Until that dumbass Terry holds up their radio, ugh. BUT looking at it it’s been beaten to a pulp so either the werewolves did it or Doggo Killer disabled it ON PURPOSE.<\/strong><\/span>]
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They continue to collect useful things, weapons, ammo, magnesium flares. Doggo Killer says they won\u2019t die [bat: Doggo Killer means the werewolves won’t die. Humans are very expendable.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: Oh, yeah, I wasn’t very clear there, was I. I also meant the werewolves.<\/strong><\/span>] and tells them to run before they tear their legs out from under them. Sarge tells him to shut the fuck up and stop scaring his lads, and then we hear snarling and howling and shouting and here. we. go.<\/span><\/p>\n

They go racing into the trees, setting up rear guard and point and someone to help Doggo Killer even though they really should just leave him to die. Lots of running and beautiful creepy setting and trees super close as they run. [bat: This looks kind of like an overgrown abandoned Xmas tree farm to me, but I hail from the Pacific Northwest, so I’ve seen a lot of Xmas tree farms in my lifetime.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Rear guard sets up covering them and all is quiet but for the wind moving the trees until, hark, a howl begins. Still we see nothing and poor rear guard is nearly in tears. He sees movement, his gun jam no matter how many times he changes his ammo. He frantically flees, there\u2019s lots of shaky cam, and then he impales himself on a fucking branch. Good god, man.<\/span><\/p>\n

AND THEN SNARL AND BLOOD SPATTER AND GONE. [bat: Bye, bye, dumbass.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Sarge does some spinning in circles looking to see where the noise came from and eventually he finds blood on the ground. A werewolf comes leaping out of the trees at him, and we get our first look, though it is brief. They stand on two legs, furred, fast moving, and heavily clawed. [bat: Upon freeze-framing, I get more “dog” than “wolf” but I’ll reserve full judgement until we see one for longer than a brief flash.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Sarge does some scrambling and rolling, shoots the werewolf quite a bit, and stumbles over rear guard\u2019s body (Bruce\u2019s body). Then he\u2019s disemboweled and the werewolf comes for him until Cooper shows up, shoots him until he goes away, yelping.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sarge tells him to run, he\u2019s been bitten, the werewolf comes back but they both shoot him until he goes away. Cooper refuses to leave Sarge, because Cooper is a goddamn badass. He fucking shoves Sarge\u2019s guts back into his fucking body (\u201cthey won\u2019t fit!\u201d Sarge cries, but they do, and also delightfully disgusting) and run to join the rest of the men.<\/span><\/p>\n

We get more gray (or kind of sepia, depending on the screen, I\u2019ve been watching on a couple at this point) viewpoint from a hunting werewolf and some shots of at least one chasing the men through the trees.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s lots of running and shooting and heavy breathing and helping each other and god, these men are kind of great.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We never get a really clear look at the werewolves, just more silhouettes and they kind of look like they have manes, which is fun.<\/span><\/p>\n

The men see a truck barreling down a gravel road and manage to stop it (by one of them throwing himself into the road in front of it; he\u2019s nearly run over, but I guess when you\u2019re running away from fucking werewolves, that\u2019s worth the risk, and I love him for it). The driver is a woman who orders them into the truck (that might be more of a Jeep, actually; it\u2019s got a covered bed at the very least and sort of looks like a hybrid between the two). [bat: It’s decidedly UK military whatever it is. Almost like a Hummer but more truck.<\/strong><\/span>]
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They get inside just before the werewolves leap onto the top of the truck and smear their muzzles against the windows. One punches in through the roof (which has sunroofs on it), and one of the guys puts his fucking knife through its arm. [bat: Which immediately means the werewolf can’t withdraw its arm because the knife hinders it, great idea, guys!<\/strong><\/span>] (During all of this, the truck is stuck in mud, but they finally get free.)<\/span><\/p>\n

They take stock of what\u2019s going on: Sarge is gutted (literally) and bitten, Bruce is dead, and Doggo Killer is still all torn up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Woman has been looking for them, apparently, and had just about given up hope of finding them. She heard gunfire last night and knew someone was out there and would be in trouble soon if they weren\u2019t already. [bat: I HAVE QUESTIONS.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: I HAVE ANSWERS. (No, I don’t, not really.)<\/strong><\/span>]
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She says there\u2019s one farm nearby, owned by a friend of hers, and she takes them there so they can bind Sarge\u2019s wounds. Doggo Killer continues to look all shifty. I supposed I\u2019d best stop calling him Doggo Killer because every time I do, I get distracted by my rage over him being a doggo killer. [bat: He is the Captain, but I keep calling him Davos in my head.<\/strong><\/span>]
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The farmhouse is big, multiple floors, lots of windows, and it\u2019s kind of cool and creepy at the same time, though, of course, some of that creepiness might stem from the fact it is in the dark of night under the full moon in a werewolf movie.<\/span><\/p>\n

No one is home at the farmhouse, and she says she doesn\u2019t know where they could be, but the men don\u2019t really care about that. They very carefully clear the house, and they aren\u2019t terrible at it, considering how young and inexperienced they\u2019ve been previously.<\/span><\/p>\n

(We don\u2019t know it yet, but the woman\u2019s name is Megan. Also: she\u2019s gorgeous.)<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a fire burning and lights on, but no one inside. Lots of things like deer horns on the wall, and some more ridiculous and delightful dialog (\u201cLittle pigs, little pigs, we\u2019ve come to nick your video\u201d because why not make all the big bad wolf references. All of them. This movie gets me.)<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s even plates and bread on the kitchen table and soup bubbling on the stove, but no people. [bat: Megan has literally brought them to the three Bears’ house.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: Damn, this is the best, bloodiest Three Bears retelling I’ve ever seen.<\/strong><\/span>]\u00a0They hear a noise and Cooper (I think, again all the white dudes look alike) follows it to find ANOTHER DOGGO. A very sweet doggo who immediately befriends him, and I swear to fucking god, if this doggo dies, I am going to set something on fire. [bat: WE WILL BURN EVERYTHING DOWN!<\/strong><\/span>]
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(I sort of take back that whole good at clearing the house because we only see them clear the ground floor. Maybe they did the rest of it and we just didn\u2019t have to watch it — oh, wait, they clear upstairs once they\u2019re all inside downstairs, which is certainly a choice. I guess they have two bad options, really. Clear upstairs while outside and risk another attack from the woods or clear upstairs while everyone else is downstairs and risk an attack from upstairs.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper basically takes charge, sets Spoon to binding Sarge\u2019s wounds and Terry to keep an eye out front. Ryan continues to be grumpy and sketchy in the corner.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s no telephone in the house, and Megan shouts at them not to eat the food, it\u2019s not theirs, but the guys eat anyway, because it\u2019s the training, never miss a chance to eat.
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Sarge shouts and moans as they put him back together, and it\u2019s kind of horrible. Poor guy. [bat: Pretty sure he should be dead already from blood loss and shock, although I don’t know much about disemboweling, I find this hard to believe.<\/strong><\/span>]
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The soup has tough meat in it, and they\u2019re not sure what it is, but they think it\u2019s pork. [bat: Well, long pig is the other OTHER white meat…<\/strong><\/span>]
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IT\u2019S PEOPLE, YOU IDIOTS. P E O P L E.<\/span><\/p>\n

God, I love werewolf movies.<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan tells them the nearest phone is 50 miles away, as the crow flies, and the nearest town is Fort William, at least a 4 hour drive back through the woods the way they just came. Gee, whoever lives in this farmhouse must really want privacy and really love the isolation of the woods. And hunting.<\/span><\/p>\n

I WONDER WHO COULD LIVE HERE. [bat: Clearly<\/em> the three weres<\/del> bears.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Megan\u2019s not sure their wounded can make it, but Cooper says Sarge, at least, can\u2019t afford for them to wait. Plus the farmhouse could be compromised.<\/span><\/p>\n

(He actually says: \u201c…unless your friends have just gone walkabout\u201d and now I\u2019m curious as to whether that\u2019s got some racism to it, like \u201coff the reservation\u201d does here in the USA. Like, is it an offensive term when used like this? A walkabout is a part of Aboriginal culture, but that\u2019s clearly not what\u2019s meant here, so does it have similar negative connotations as something like \u201coff the reservation\u201d does? I should do some reading on this.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan agrees to take them the sooner the better, and Cooper and Spoon go to bring the truck around. Around where? You literally just walked in the front door, why can\u2019t you all walk out it, too? (Also, he sets Joe to watching Ryan with the safety off his gun. Good plan, Cooper. Good plan.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Gorgeous scene outside where one of the guys lights a flare and we see the truck\u2019s hood and engine have been utterly destroyed, absolutely shredded metal and all. WEREWOLVES. <3 <3 <3<\/span><\/p>\n

And then werewolves appear! Cooper (I think) tells Spoon not to shoot them, not to stare back at them. Because Cooper is a werewolf whisperer? Spoon (I guess) says that he can\u2019t help but stare back, which, you know, VALID.<\/span><\/p>\n

We still don\u2019t get a good look at them, but we do see pointed furry ears and hands with long fingers and sharp claws. They are dramatically backlit, which makes them creepier, in part because it avoids that thing where the werewolf special effects look so terrible it is distracting. (If I remember correctly, they aren\u2019t actually all that terrible, but often the longer a werewolf movie can hold off showing the entire werewolf, the better.)<\/span><\/p>\n

The men finally race back for the house, shooting back at the werewolves. They manage to spill gas and blow up the truck, because sure, why not. [bat: When you drop a flare next to a damaged truck that’s obviously leaking all kinds of auto fluids…<\/strong><\/span>] Just when they think they\u2019re safe inside, the werewolves attack, one of them nearly managing to get inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

At the same time, cute doggo Sam decides he absolutely has to play tug of war with Sarge\u2019s guts. WHAT THE FUCK, MOVIE. This is great. (I mean that. I love this movie.) [bat: I laughed. That’s a winning joke.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Throughout this, Ryan sits grumpily in the corner. Ryan can fuck right off into the sea. Or better yet, have his balls and dick and face eating off by werewolves while he\u2019s still alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

(We do get to see a werewolf arm as one reaches in through the door. It\u2019s not nearly as furry as it looked from afar, much more like leathered skin over solid muscle.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan tries to pull Sam off Sarge, which just encourages the tug of war, Ryan shouts for her to shut the dog up, and you don\u2019t get a fucking say here, DOGGO KILLER. Finally Sam lets go of Sarge\u2019s guts (no, seriously, <\/span>this movie<\/span><\/i>), Cooper gets the men set up to watch the windows and the doors, and MOTHER FUCKING RYAN GETS A GUN AND SETS UP TO SHOOT THE DOG BECAUSE WHAT THE GODDAMN HELL. One of the men sees what\u2019s going on with Sam and Sarge and vomits all over him, which is the very least he deserves. (Joe did it, maybe.)<\/span><\/p>\n

[bat: “Your dog knows a flesh eater when he smells one!”<\/strong><\/span>]<\/p>\n

Cooper gives some good orders: make a clear line of fire, give them something inviting, lure them in. Not real sure what you have that\u2019s inviting, you know, besides all of\u00a0you<\/em>, but decent plan otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n

(For a moment, Joe leans against the wall and it looks like some of the deer horns are coming out of his head. PREY!)<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, no, it\u2019s Terry, not Joe. Sorry, Joe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper sends Terry to boil a lot of water and, oh, put the kettle on because they could all do with a brew. Aww, those Brits, spot of tea helps with everything. (Dove would agree.)<\/span><\/p>\n

They sort of halfway cover the windows with wood and heavy furniture where possible, which means we\u2019ll for sure see a werewolf bursting through one of those at some point, and I can\u2019t wait.<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan wants to know if they came to the woods for the werewolves. Cooper admits he doesn\u2019t have a fucking clue what they are, of course he isn\u2019t there for them. Nor does he care what they are. His men are there for a routine training mission.<\/span><\/p>\n

She is frustrated that it wasn\u2019t a rescue mission after all, which makes all of us curious, but she walks off without saying more. She does tell them that the werewolves are smart, they\u2019re probably working as a team, looking for a weakness, looking for a way in, exactly the kind of thing the soldiers would do in their place. Cooper wants to treat them like any other enemy, but Megan says they\u2019re no ordinary enemy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Upstairs in the bathroom, Ryan dramatically stares at himself in a tarnished mirror, and he is very clearly turning into a werewolf. I do hope this movie didn\u2019t think it was being subtle here.<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the dudes, Joe maybe (you know, some closed captioning will list the name of the character speaking. I need them to do that every time), says this standoff reminds him of Rorke\u2019s Drift (or Rocks drift, as closed captioning thinks), a battle with a couple hundred British Army regulars against several thousand Zulu fighters.<\/span><\/p>\n

WELP. Certainly it\u2019s not racist to compare Zulu fighters to literal animalistic monsters. Not at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Apparently the British won at Rorke\u2019s Drift against the odds, which is, of course, the reference actually being made here, but come the fuck on, people. Think about what you write. You can choose to write a racist character, sure, but this comes across as more accidental racism because you don\u2019t even know that you should be considering this sort of comparison.<\/span><\/p>\n

(Joe or whoever says that it was 100 \u201cmen of heart\u201d against 10,000 Zulu warriors, but those are not the numbers I saw when I went to confirm whether this was real or not, so way to exaggerate, dude. Believable! But also ridiculous exaggeration.)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He\u2019s apparently loving this standoff, because of course he is and even breaks out a pane or two of glass from the window so he can have a clear shot.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper FINALLY asks if they\u2019re talking about wolves, because Cooper has cemented his place as my favourite man in this movie and continues to prove why. Megan says they\u2019re not entirely wolf nor entirely human but somewhere in between.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper doesn\u2019t believe her, of course, despite him being the one to bring up wolves in the first place. Because wolves stand 6+ feet tall and walk on their hind legs, do they? Come on, Cooper.<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan snaps at him not to be an asshole, she thought they might be there because of the werewolves (though no one has actually said the word, the closest is Cooper saying wolf men), and she storms off to sit on the stairs behind Sarge.<\/span><\/p>\n

I still want to know why the fuck you think they\u2019d come there as a rescue mission. I know that special forces were there for one werewolf, but were they there hunting it or rescuing people or what? I WANT MORE INFORMATION PLEASE.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sarge likes her sharpness. Me too, Sarge. Me too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Terry finally finishes brewing up and starts to bring around tea. The werewolves choose then to come closer to the house, which of course sets Joe to firing wildly because he\u2019s real into this whole shooting monsters thing. [bat: It was rude not to offer them a cuppa. They can smell the tea, I’m sure.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: Literal laugh out loud here, bat.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Cooper tells Megan he needs her help with Sarge, and when she starts to tell him that she knows how to kill (we assume the werewolves), Sarge\u2019s cries of pain when Cooper tries to stop his bleeding cut her off. [bat: Kind of suspicious timing that he starts screaming RIGHT THAT SECOND.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Cooper asks her for super glue and whiskey, and this is going to be a fun time for all, isn\u2019t it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now that they\u2019ve both calmed down a bit, she apologises for calling him an asshole, though she has no damn reason to, and says she has a mean streak a mile across. I love you, Megan, and your sharpness, and your mean streak, and your bouncy curls, and the fact you\u2019re about to help glue a man back together.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper gets Sarge up the stairs with him leaking blood the entire way [bat: Finally, accuracy appears!<\/strong><\/span>], and then we get a montage of various white dudes going through various things in the house, and I can\u2019t tell a damn one apart. One of them finds an electric carving knife (oh boy), one of them goes through a trunk and finds a sword (that\u2019s probably Joe, I\u2019d assume), and Cooper and Megan set about gluing Sarge back together.<\/span><\/p>\n

Brief werewolf POV from outside the farmhouse. They\u2019re circling at a distance, but haven\u2019t come back in for an attack. Maybe looking for a way in, like Megan said earlier, but, uh, all those windows and doors, after they shredded metal? They could easily get inside. No way that handful of men can cover everything.<\/span><\/p>\n

So: playing with their food.<\/span><\/p>\n

Upstairs, Cooper and Megan continue to patch Sarge back together. Sarge wants to hang on to his handgun, but Cooper takes it away. Probably better leave him with it. Sarge is real damn upset over Bruce dying, and also he\u2019s in a shitload of pain. He\u2019s on painkillers and some alcohol at this point, and thanks Cooper for saving his life. God, I kind of love Sarge. He\u2019s such a grumpy leader, but he really fucking cares about his men.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ryan continues to creepily and dramatically lurk around away from everyone else. He listens to Sarge yell in pain and looks at some of the various things around the house, including a picture of what appears to be a family, mom and dad and brother and sister. There are some books nearby that include Strip Poker, Advice for Any Occasion, and McCortney and Me. Old-fashioned decorations, more whiskey (this is my kind of home), a picture of the house itself, and then over to Joe (I think) still keeping watch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sarge is babbling now, telling Megan how Cooper is his best mate, salt of the earth, great person. The rest of the guys in the squad are great, but damn, Cooper is the best, he loves him like a mate, he\u2019s so drunk and so high on painkillers and in so much pain still. UGH, my heart.<\/span><\/p>\n

He begs Cooper to knock him out, Cooper doesn\u2019t manage to do so on the first punch but does on the second, and then he and Megan race to get Sarge glued back together. Man, this is actually taking forever.<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan tells Cooper that she\u2019s lived locally for two years, she\u2019s a zoologist and she came for the wildlife, and I fucking adore her. He assumes she heard the stories as well, and sure enough, she heard them and that\u2019s why she went looking.<\/span><\/p>\n

And when she went looking, she found evidence.<\/span><\/p>\n

She\u2019s fascinated by the possibility, but Cooper doesn\u2019t let her finish, because he can\u2019t believe she seriously believes in werewolves. And <\/span>finally<\/span><\/i> we have someone calling them what they are. Also, as much as I like you, Cooper, maybe you could shut the fuck up and listen for once.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan knows how unlikely it sounds, and she wouldn\u2019t have believed it either straight out of school, but now she knows they\u2019re real, as real as she and Cooper are. She warns him he\u2019ll believe, too, before they get through the night.<\/span><\/p>\n

Downstairs the dude who found the sword is now playing with it, swinging it around. I still think this might be Joe, which means the dude keeping watch probably isn\u2019t. I wish I could tell them apart better!<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper comes back downstairs and takes the sword away because dude will put a fucking eye out with it, the way he\u2019s swinging it. Dude also has a heavy pot as a weapon, and I am delighted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, Terry is maybe the one keeping watch at the window. Will I remember that? No. Cooper gathers them for a pep talk. He wants them to make a stand at the house and fight, no more running, and if they stick together, he thinks (or at least wants them to think) they have a chance to survive. [bat: *presses X to doubt*<\/strong><\/span>]
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Joe finally asks the question I\u2019m sure the rest of them are thinking, because none of them are like me and immediately jump to werewolves no matter the situation, and Megan tells them they\u2019re fighting lycanthropes. (Werewolves to you and me, Cooper explains when Joe doesn\u2019t get it.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe (…I think) isn\u2019t a believer, but one of the other dudes (maybe Terry, maybe not; there\u2019s yet another dude still keeping watch at the window and I don\u2019t know who the fuck any of the three of them are) says it makes perfect sense.<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan points out that, you know, full moon, teeth, claws, howling, there\u2019s a logical explanation here. Well, logical in a sense, I guess. God, she\u2019s gorgeous and I love her. She says she\u2019s been tracking them and studying them for an entire year; every month they hunt under the full moon, working as a team, dedicated to the kill, and in that year, at least 15 people have vanished. I would have expected more, actually, with that many werewolves, but 15\u2019s still a pretty solid number. Hikers mostly, in small groups or alone, caught in the open, hunted, torn apart, and eaten.<\/span><\/p>\n

God I love werewolves. And Megan\u2019s blunt way of talking about this.<\/span><\/p>\n

[bat: I gotta ask, though, why consistently killing people? Why not… steer? Sheep? Other wild animals? Is there’s a specific reason these werewolves have to kill people? Yes, I know, it’s a horror movie, stop poking the plot, bat. I’m just curious, since vampire films have shown them feeding on animals in make-shift attempts to survive. Is this a “man is the ultimate prey” type of deal?<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: Some legends have werewolves either craving human meat over everything else or flat out needing to eat it. Not sure what’s going on here, specifically, though.<\/strong><\/span>]<\/p>\n

(Camera lingers on Cooper reloading and specifically on his fingers with their short, blunt nails. Seems like foreshadowing for him growing claws at some point in the next hour.)<\/span><\/p>\n

She\u2019s never seen the actual slaughter just the aftermath. No werewolves, no bodies, just blood.\u00a0 She goes on to talk about the eyebrows thing being nonsense, dark age paranoia, and I feel like I missed some sort of line asking about that. Missed it on all my viewings, I\u2019ll say, because I\u2019m confused by that every time. If it does happen somewhere, I hope bat catches it and lets us know. [bat: Nope, there was no prior eyebrows reference in the film, but as far as I can find, sporting a unibrow was a sign of a werewolf in European folklore. It likely ties into cases of Hypertrichosis<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a> aka werewolf syndrome.<\/span><\/strong>] [Wing: Yeah, it’s pretty common in werewolf legends out of Europe, I was more wondering if I’d missed it in the movie. I have been distracted by my inability to distinguish between the white dudes.<\/strong><\/span>]\u00a0No one\u2019s gotten close enough to try silver bullets, which seems unlikely. Not having silver bullets? Sure. Not getting close enough to shoot at them? Clearly false.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, Spoon is the one who was willing to believe in werewolves earlier. I\u2019ll never keep him straight from Joe and Terry, but good to know for the moment. He\u2019s also gungho about going in with silver bullets.<\/span><\/p>\n

…where are you getting said silver bullets, dude?<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper\u2019s still not fully convinced that they\u2019re not just people escaped from a \u201cnuthouse\u201d who haven\u2019t shaved or cut their nails. Goddamn it, Cooper. Fuck you.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, what they are doesn\u2019t really change what\u2019s going on, which is the squad and Megan and Ryan are in the house and their attackers are outside.<\/span><\/p>\n

Joe starts talking about how all of this is \u201cborn,\u201d which is not the first time the word\u2019s come up, and Megan, thank fuck, asks what I\u2019m wondering: what the fuck does that mean? It means bollocks, not very good, etc. Oooookaaaaay.<\/span><\/p>\n

She asks if there\u2019s anything else she needs to know, and Cooper decides she needs their call signs because they all have to be specific. Good luck keeping some of them straight, Megan. Hope you\u2019re better at this than I am.<\/span><\/p>\n

Upstairs you have Sergeant Wells who you seem to know inside and out by now.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

COOPER. I LOVE YOU AND YOUR INAPPROPRIATE DRY HUMOUR.<\/span><\/p>\n

[bat: I liked “Spoon, the vomiting cavalier!”<\/strong><\/span>]<\/p>\n

Captain Ryan is not one of the team and they don\u2019t really know why he\u2019s there. Ryan says he\u2019d tell them if he could, and, uh, why can\u2019t you? Because if you know, you\u2019re facing a life and death situation and maybe now\u2019s the time to come clean, especially if you know something that would help.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, you\u2019re also a goddamn doggo killer, so fuck you I hope they eat you while you\u2019re still alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper doesn\u2019t let him get away with that, points out his team was killed, etc. but Ryan won\u2019t be led. They\u2019re all in the same shit, but he doesn\u2019t need them, he claims. One of the Impossible Three snaps that he needed them two hours ago, which is a good fucking point and also, has it only been two hours? Damn.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper\u2019s turn to look at photos. This is a different one, though it has the same four people from before and another dude added to it. As the other guys keep arguing, Megan tells Cooper that the picture is of the Auths, a Celtic name. The family has lived there for centuries.<\/span><\/p>\n

…so, the family line as a whole or are werewolves immortal unless they\u2019re killed? I\u2019m down with either option, but, you know, it\u2019s pretty clear what\u2019s going on. I love it, but it\u2019s not subtle.<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan brings them back on target, wanting to know why Ryan was out there. Cooper has an idea, but he wants to hear it from Ryan himself. And then he asks how Ryan is feeling.<\/span><\/p>\n

COOOOOOOOPER. For being one of the people who doesn\u2019t believe in werewolves still, you are real damn close to some good logic there, and I love you for it. He goes on to talk about how Ryan could barely open his eyes, much less walk, when they found him and now look at him, healthy enough to dramatically lurk all over the house.<\/span><\/p>\n

COOPER I LOVE YOU.<\/span><\/p>\n

Megan watches all of this very intently, because yes, of course she does.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Cooper wants to look at his wound, but Ryan warns him off and even pulls a gun when he comes close. The rest of the guys point their guns at him kind of uselessly, but Megan beats him over the head with a heavy pot, because Megan is fucking amazing.<\/span><\/p>\n

It causes him to fire one shot through the window, sending Sam (you know, Doggo #2) scampering and a fight to kick off. They get him held down and sure enough his wound is healed into a scar. They tie him up with torn towels, which I have zero belief would hold him long even if he wasn\u2019t turning into a werewolf. Cooper wants him to answers questions; Megan asks what he\u2019s going to do, torture him, and when Cooper turns that back on her, asking what she\u2019d do, she flat out says she\u2019d torture him.<\/span><\/p>\n

I love how practical and blunt she is, and also all the things this actor does with her face. Her expressions are great, and far more subtle than some of the things going on around her, like Ryan\u2019s dark drama everywhere. (Which is intentional, I think! And fits the character. Just a different way to play it.)<\/span><\/p>\n

The lights start to flicker and then go out, and immediately they assume the werewolves shut down the generator. Megan explains that they\u2019d do it because they can see in the dark. See? Definitely playing with their food.<\/span><\/p>\n

(My god, it takes me so much longer to recap a movie than a book. I\u2019ve been at this for two days now [obviously not straight through], and we\u2019re not yet an hour into it. We still have 50 minutes of movie left. I love it, and I\u2019m having a good time recapping, but I find it incredibly weird how much longer these recaps take.) [bat: And now you know why it takes me forever to do recaps. Especially when I go on a deep dive.<\/strong><\/span>] [Wing: I know, right? I don’t understand how a movie can take so much longer, but damn.<\/strong><\/span>]
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Cooper finally starts to believe her, which is good because the werewolves are coming. The guys arm up, when Megan asks what she can do, Cooper asks what she wants to do (run and hide because she knows what\u2019s coming) and then asks her to take care of Sam (DOGGO) and keep an eye on Ryan. Bash him in the head a couple more times, Megan! You know you want to. We all want you to. (Cooper even tells her to, which delights me.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Ryan and Megan exchange a long look while Megan pets Sam. Ryan\u2019s dramatic, as always, and Megan has this hardness to her expression that is just great.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dramatic music ends, we get silence but for the sounds of them moving their guns and Joe\u2019s gum chewing. It\u2019s very effective, actually, much better at raising the tension than the actual score was.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then the door handle starts to turn. They\u2019ve figured out how to open doors!<\/span><\/p>\n